Rules For Rationals

Our state of greatest strength and therefore efficacy occurs when we are willing to work as a human unit—a hunit, if you will. Therefore it is my obligation and honor to consider each and every person I reach out to as being my ally, if perhaps not personal friend, and compatriot, if not energetic partner.

I really do care for our world and the people in it.

If you are going to read anything I write, or begin to unpack where I'm coming from on any subject, this is something you need to know. If you don't, there's no hope for parity and quite frankly I can't be bothered to convince anyone of my good intentions. For a lot of people out there, their good graces are fairly difficult to court and extremely easy to slip out of. When it comes down to it and their egos are flooring it, prior friendships and camaraderie doesn't matter—once you step out of bounds and stimulate their egos in the wrong way, or (unwittingly or not) enter their “no-go zone”, the radar is tripped and you are immediately persona non grata...perhaps it is sad to say it, but this is something of the story of my life.

I’m sure I’m not alone.

This post, however, is not about unpacking the human ego, or explaining what I think it actually is, or what it means to be a human person whose higher energetic expressions are often in contention with it. Egos thrive on low-frequency, high-amplitude energy fields, and they will continually exercise their insidious reframing of our perceptions until we obediently conform to their needs and emit the energies of fear, anger, shame, and pride—often simultaneously. Egos might be fine for dealing with tigers and other existential threats, but how to convince a flipped-out ego that you are not such a snake in the grass?—impossible; not even worth the attempt.

In most cases, I'll try anyway…out of a sense of empathy/stupidity, but I’ve learned to generally not hope for too much. And that’s fine; people are what they are, and as they go sometimes they grow. But that ego!

The tell, you understand, is always, always in the energy of the emotions themselves.

Which is why as a soul doctor (or at least somebody who makes it their business to love their fellows) you have to continually go upstream. ‘Why this anger?’ you might ask—easy: a defense mechanism. So go upstream: defense from what? Pain—trauma. What is that?—fear. Fear of what?—further hurt, ok, what else? Shame. Fear of self-shame, and social shame. Fear of the rejection of one's tribe—the ultimate shame—and disgust of the self—the ultimate weakness.

Well, shit. No wonder they flipped out over those jalapenos, or whatever. In that moment, their whole world was at stake! Nobody wants to feel weak, or powerless—these so-called 'unfreedoms' are the antithesis of a good life. What's more, it is a basic human right not to feel insecure about oneself and about one's life, including one's social circles. We deserve confidence in those who we turn to for love and care.

So we must return to our feelings to grok which way the wind is blowing, no matter how quickly it may change—because as I've said before, everything is a feeling, and every experience presents to our awareness as symptoms of emotional memory: our energetic palette. And no two people’s colors will be quite the same. These colors, and the reactions they produce within our energy field, are often so natural and instinctual that they are ignored by our conscious minds completely (the conscious part of our mind being much more interested in and focused on attending to the perceived external source of the emotional energy at hand).

It is important also at this time to state that all feelings and therefore experiences come from within us, and specifically from within our minds; we are what we’ve felt, and we draw on the sum total of not only our own recollected emotional states to make sense of stimuli, but also the genetic memory of the experiences of our forebears. Wow. So there are as many different reactions to the exact same stimulus as there are perceiving awarenesses present to decode them. And all these emotions and perceptions are decoded and described to us electrically, within the brain and body, as well as energetically, within the biofield and subtle-body energies (this is also the so-called 'light-body' or ‘chi’ or ‘prana’ or a million other culture-specific things). Nothing we have ever or will ever experience comes to us externally, per se…only those stimuli that we react to—in fact, in the presence of such stimuli, we are reacting almost entirely to our own cellular memories. This is amazing, and also kind of terrifying. Our reactions, therefore, whether consciously chosen or not, are almost entirely a function of us, of some particular version of our brains’ mixture of up/down and good/bad.

Punchline: things do not happen to us—we happen to us.

And we happen to things, incidentally...but here is not the place to focus on our power of quantum manifestation. See the 'heart-forward system' page for a bit more on that.

So. I think it's worth putting into words my feelings toward people, perhaps to try and stem the inevitable tide of misunderstandings and difficult feelings that some of my expressions often create; I continue to struggle with the daily reality of mis-categorization and the wanton perversion of my intention, but this is nothing new for many people throughout our history. Since everyone else gets run through the wash of our cellular watercolor set—generally with plenty of our gunk finding its way into their pockets—we’re often left with something of a gulf of communication yawning wide between ourselves and even our dear friends…to say nothing of so-called “strangers”. I'm sure that many of you have felt the need to explain yourselves to others in your lives, eh? And I'm sure in many cases trying to do so hasn't much helped these situations (or perhaps it even ended up making things worse!).

However: I am—as all beings are—entitled to my own voice, and entitled equally to a belief in the veracity of that voice, at least in the moment that I make good on it. And allow me to say that to the best of my human ability, I am as careful with that voice as I can possibly be: far more careful, in point of fact, than many people can possibly be aware.

When I write, my every word is put just so…I mean I’m talking about some straight literary shiatsu, here, folks. Lyrical weekend retreats, complete with hatha verb-yoga and syntax-colonics: the works. I struggle to tolerate misinterpretations and yet acquiesce to the complete inevitability of their presence in my life. I guess they are something like the necessary byproduct of individuality.

Therefore let me say that if for any reason anything I write or produce is cause to upset you, dear person who experiences my fairly-well-curated voice, then I am indeed deeply sorry for that upset, and I will do what I can to make amends and perhaps try and help you to understand that my intentions were never inflammatory in their nature, and in most cases (I should hope) were probably much closer to something like loving-kindness. That being said, I will however admit to perhaps the occasional desire of my own ego to really rip into people and sear them across the hot coals of my vocabulary just to watch them lose their shit…but mostly I only do that to myself, so don’t worry overmuch. It tends to take a lot for me to let my ego out of its energetic hatbox.

Now part two of this energetic disclaimer is that I don't want to benefit from anyone else's discomfort, and neither from their shame, fear, or otherwise other negative emotional experiences do I derive pleasure. It's a disservice to them, you see, this sort of opportunistic schadenfreude, and I consider such sentiment certainly a perversion of my awareness.

And awareness is a big deal to me, really the deal. Meta-cognition is a thing that I regard as a great gift—in point of fact, the greatest gift I know. So know that I respect it enough not to want to fuck it up for the sake of some egoistic self-indulgence. Just not my thing, trenchant and probing as my vocab may at times be.

With great wordsiness comes great responsibilitrance (trust me on this one).

Which leads me to my next point—the fact that despite my every intention toward the good, I am so often regarded as speaking 'from a pedestal' and ‘talking down’ to people. I get this one all the damn time. But the secret is in the pudding, or something…so let’s go upstream. ‘Cause it’s important that I express what I believe to be the cause of the perception I’m constantly running into, the box that I never laid claim to that I seem to end up in inside people’s heads more often than not.

So where does this impression of me as zealot and pedant come from then, eh?

I mean if I know that I have no particular need to feel super specialer than everyone or indeed anyone around me…why the beeblebrox am I so often seen in that light? What can account for the self-righteousness I am so often perceived as emitting like a firecracker, like some false prophet of the holier-than-thou—an anointed grammar-bot come direct from inyourfaceia to waggle my mother-superior morality right under-your-nosia?

Well, I’ve thought about it. Mostly because it happens so damn much, and in particularly is response to my written word. And after pondery of quandary, I really believe it is the emotional defense mechanism of non-empathy that I’m so repeatedly encountering, the specific and pointed desire not to be known. And this fear is the fear of being truly seen by a foreign person (and therefore intimate with, and vulnerable to, that knowing being); the feeling of being laid bare before a judgemental awareness, whose goal may very well be that of a mere punitive discord, sewn maliciously into the lives of others for its own sake.

That thing I said I don’t do ‘cause it sucks? Remember? I think that’s the thing that so many peeple are worried I’m doing…to them and the things they value.

Little wonder my text gets the cold shoulder, man.

I’m confident that everyone reading this understands the energy of basic human meanness, and loathes it. And not just hates it, but fears it—fears encountering genuine malice for no reason at all beyond itself. And I think in order to avoid that experience at all costs, it is simply just so much easier for most people to close themselves off to foreign persons—and to experience those foreigners as arrogant and self-important, etc.—than it is to empathize with them…particularly if those persons seek to empathize with or understand (and therefore have power over) us.

“You don't know me!” is the old battlecry. That is to say: you can't possibly know anything about what it feels like to be me and I never want you to!

And after all, why should people trust you? You're not an us, right…you're a them. There’s just so many things to see as different about you—exactly like Sesame Street taught us to find as kiddos. You're the wrong gender, or maybe some questionable race, or an imperialist schweinhund, or maybe something about you (probably the pirate hair, or that French-aristocrat nose) simply screams 'danger, Will Robinson' to the point where those stalwart little egos—the sneaky sub-consciousness at the helm of our friend-or-foe bogey-identification system—simply take one glance and say, oooh, no...not in a million years, buddy, and off we go into the brainbox of dastardly doom, and that is that.

As I say, this phenomenon is nothing new for me. Everyone I’ve ever met has taken either a near-instantaneous shine or a loathing to me, and it’s not hard to tell which is which. I’ve had people throw themselves at me as the itinerant brainiac saxman of their dreams, and others skin their knees in a mad rush to get away before I can wrap my tentacles around them and make off with their milk money.

And, you know, lacking a people or real home of my own…it’s gotten to the point where I just anticipate standing out in every crowd, on every stage, and in any light. Even no light. The fact that I am an outsider to every tribe and people-group I've made good on a genuine attempt at parity with attests to my uniqe style of “otherness”...in fact, if I'm counting, I have had 11 or 12 homes in roughly the last 15 years, been party to countless new circles of people from all possible walks of life, belief systems, religions, genres, you name it—and I can count the number of people I routinely interact with on a friendly basis on one hand. A Simpson’s hand, even. I mean, not that I'm asking you to care…I just think that’s kind of interesting, but I imagine there’s a bias in there somewhere.

Because I view every person I meet as an opportunity to learn and as a window into a personal universe of parity, I’ve become pretty good at finding ways to allay fears and to otherwise soothe the worried countenance of those with whom I interact. I’ve become the consummate bridgebuilder, able to assess and find common ground with nearly anyone on nearly anything. I am a shapeshifter—so much so, that the ease with which I transition between one form and the next can be particularly startling for people.

I once had a guy in Burlington, VT refer to me as ‘liquid jazz’ simply for ordering a kebab. I later learned I’d scored the phone numbers of both his boss and his sister in the same night, and he was kind of in awe/preparing to shiver my timbers.

That weekend I sharpened his boss’s knives and posed naked for his sister’s boyfriend while holding a glass of champagne in one hand and their pet turtle in the other. Somewhere I still have a picture of the sketch he did.

There are some days I kinda miss Vermont.

Incidentally, social distancing is not a novel concept for me. I am kept at distance for the simple fact that my intelligence coupled with my unique blend of hyper-liberal and hyper-conservative lifestyle choices and beliefs alienate me from just about every breathing human I've ever met. I get along famously with their pets and their in-laws, though, and (because of my penchant for saying yes most of the time) I do regularly find myself in situations that sometimes surprise even me. This has happened fairly often throughout my life.

But lately—last couple years or so—people haven’t played too much of a major role in my world, and I suppose I’ve learned to be pretty alright with that. At any rate, it’s given me some real decent time to step back and do some serious soul-searching and people-watching.

I'm still quite fond of you all, but the truth is after encountering some odd thousands of you over the years, I've begun to notice a few patterns. Pretty striking patterns, actually. And in the process of deeply unpacking my own conscious and subconscious mind, and comparing the impetus of my behaviors with that of the people whom I've met (and posed for), I've become aware, recently, that I’ve learned me some things.

So I'm gonna set a few ground rules and proceed apace as though you care, because truth be told I care very much, and out of necessity throughout my life I've learned to let that be absolutely enough.

So these are some of the things I care about, and deeply enough to set the stage with.

Ground rule #1: Be truthful to your feelings without being a horrible person (self-isolate as necessary).

Ground rule #2: Be respectful and, if you can manage it, be kind to your fellow consciousnesses at all times. If someone says something that upsets you, don't immediately assume all blame for that upset lies with them, and none with you. Generally speaking, the inverse is actually true.

Ground rule #3: Really try to be aware of your own energy in real time. Attend to your innermost feelings and figure out why the hell you feel whatever you feel. This process, incidentally, takes years of careful work—and it's far better to start now than to put it off for a future version of yourself to deal with. It will make every possible difference in your life and the lives of all the people you care about, and even the people you don't. Your patterns and behaviors will have far more meaning if you figure out their origins for yourself, rather than have someone else try and tell you what they think about you. Don't leave the responsibility of caring for your mental health to a shrink (or for that matter, your physical health to MD’s and medical professionals, either!). Chasing a guru for peace or “enlightenment” is similarly, in my opinion, unnecessary. You already have all the answers; that is to say, you have access to everything you need within your own awareness. It might be very scary to go in there and start rooting around—that is okay. You're still very loved...certainly by me, and undoubtedly by your social network. More than anything by the Divine, whether or not you feel a desire to acknowledge it. Even trading mutual care with others who need it and otherwise don't have much time for you is okay. It's all okay. Just get inside your head and look around.

Ground rule #4: Stand up to energetic terrorism whenever it asserts itself, and call it like you see it. Have a bombproof method of detecting and discerning it, even—and most especially—when it’s coming from you. Nothing about you is infallible, but your sovereignty is inalienable. If you encounter ET’s, don't demean or get angry at them or put them down—these are people, after all, and the thing about energetic terrorism is that fighting fire with fire burns the whole village down. Trust me on this one. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind...you dig what I mean? Softcore love is hardcore love, so be loving and stand firm.

Ground rule #5: Precisely and exactly no one, under any circumstance, actually gives a flying fuck about your importance or status—so stop taking yourself so seriously! If someone offers you their attention, they are either genuinely nice (which, it turns out, is actually a thing) or they want to consume something of yours or objectify something about you. Women need to understand that not all men want sex from them, and men need to understand that most women deal mostly with men who do want sex from them (as any foray into the wonderful world of online dating teaches us only too well). Women, recognize that most men would kill to get the tiniest fraction of the attention you get from that pesky other gender (and generally resent getting); likewise men, know that sometimes women just have no room for you in their reality and don't care to have to explain that. Truth is that people are animals, period. Certain ones have figured out how to be something more, but good luck finding that miracle consistently. The way human beings rate social importance is simply our version of an egoey, aminal hierarchy, sorted by desirability. If you take away the untruth of our bad habit of power-/pleasure-by-association, then individuals suddenly have no real importance socially. ‘What madness!’ you say. And yet, if we examine ourselves without needing to impress or be impressed, desire or be desired, etc., then the only thing we are good for is feeling good on our own separate from all other people, and making other people feel good. That's it—so simple. Everyone who sucks up to you is doing so for personal reward/to be perceived as a bit more important by your group, and everyone who talks down to you is doing so to be perceived as a bit more important by this group (and by their own egos). So stop currying favor with others, and start treating everyone, especially those of lower-point social status, as allies. This is the heart-forward system at its core. Once this is properly calibrated, call in some personal time to work out your emotional kinks and fix your care-radar, and allow genuine people to care for you (even at random) without being threatened by them. People like this are actual angelic beings and as such are a blessing beyond comprehension…rare beyond words. If you know anyone like this, go tell them how incredible they are. If you do this, then stop reading right now, go find a mirror, and look yourself in the eyes and experience how cool a human you are. Be grateful to be someone who can possess an intention of care…you're a gem, you know—a diamond in the rough. (And it's a whole new world out there…so you should probably sing about it!)

Ground rule #6: Everyone is the same as you, only different. Everyone out there is you, only as another person you could just as easily have been. There is no fundamental difference between your life and the life of anyone else, save for interesting details that make this world challenging and fun. Listen to DMB's “Dancing Nancies” and find a way to see yourself in all things and in all others. Because rest assured, you are in there, and you need to be able to see that and internalize that truth in order to be actually happy.

Ground rule #7: Every being deserves happiness, and the freedom to seek it and to maintain it in their way (see my 'Declaration of Energetic Intention' for more on this—it's a very critical part of life). This includes your family, other people's families, friendos, non-friendos, old people, annoying people, weird people, asshole kiddos, unborn people (beginning at the exact moment of conception as signalled by the indigo flash of the quantum manifestation of a new life-thread…more on this phenomenon soon), brown and black people, gringos, beigeos—and beings of all genders/types/beliefs. If those beings infringe on your shit, then handle the ET in as loving a way as is possible—and use every step on the force continuum, don't just default to otherification and dismissal/censorship the way your ego wants you to do right off the bat. These people are you-only-different, remember. And such callous disregard for sovereignty is the mark of a weak, petty person—what the I-Ching calls an 'inferior man' (literally, “small person”). So don't pull that move. Not when you can be so much better than that.

Ground rule #8: You choose everything. I can't stop your suffering, and it's not my place to. It's yours. You are the most powerful being in the universe, and in all universes; in the multiverse; even the Firefly universe!—all of it. You are as gods and godesses, so I say why not act like it? Quit with the pettiness and the erroneous, egoish assumptions; quit with the disempowerment of yourself and others. If you're a feminist, good for you! Women are wonderful. Now go be a masculinist too, because men are every bit as deserving of your support, and as beautiful and vital to humanity as women. Drop your grievances, because they are only hurting innocent people, most especially you. If you think men's rights must only exist to marginalize women's rights, or vice versa, then you're wrong, and you need to remove your face from your jejunum right now. This is a very fucked-up and perverse view, and it's hurting you and others. A better path is to wield respect and dignity like a fucking lightsaber, and be amazed at how wonderfully things can go when the people who expected negativity out of you got positivity instead. All people are kings and queens if you witness them that way, and guess what—they deserve it. Especially the folks who hurt, because that means that somewhere along the way, they were hurt themselves. And that is the only reason for their behavior. Hurt people hurt people, so break the cycle. Be better. If you're a pro-whatever-group person that you are, good for you! I'm sure it's a lovely group, as long as it doesn't infringe on the positivity of others, and especially if it actively encourages it. Now go out there and support some other positive groups. If you feel that your group can only exist if other groups do not, then knock it off with the scarcity mentality and find a way to coexist. Then find a way to co-create—abundance mentality, you know? Stronger together. If any of this pisses you off because you think I think I'm better than you or smarter than you or that I know more than you or I'm somehow more worthy than you are or that I'm unwilling to understand your particular experience of this life in any way, then you need this shit more than anybody and you should maybe stop reading, make a sandwich, take a decade to work out your bullshit, and come back to it later. This is important. If you have a problem with me because of my gender or race, then fear not—your ego is simply sexist and/or racist. You are not a bad person…this is like the difference between wrinkles in a shirt and the shirt itself. You can iron that shit out, as needed…the thing to remember is that redemption is possible for ALL of us. And luckily for you, with a little work, all our prejudices and grievances are pretty “easily” fixed. As far as I go, if it makes you feel better, I'm probably not human, anyway ;). Truth is that the most prejudiced people I've met are inevitably the ones who feel that they are on the receiving end of said prejudice, and therefore without blame. So beware the self-victimization of any person who frames innocents as aggressors just to have a legitimate target for their energetic filth (ET ALERT), and beware too any standing military force that calls itself something to the effect of a ‘defence force’ for the exact same reason. Only thing those people and groups have is excuses for their own crap. Be wary, too, of how you perceive this world of ours, because in so doing we are all actually creating it in realtime in the image of our perceptions. Whether that creation manifests out of fear or Love is up to us to decide.